My fish won't breathe till death

this is probably to get me out of the hot and cold effects of being 'affected'.

trust me,there's not an ounce of it that I like of it.so much so for 'looking through' people!man,do I have wrong ideas about myself!the question, however,is whether I should actually have any idea of myself at all.I'd like to answer that in the affirmative.It doesn't harm me as much as being absolutely clueless.I'd like to think that I DO know stuff about myself.Its better than having others tell you what you're like.

Anyhow,am really,tremendously looking forward to some trip.dharmshala,hrishikesh any damn place would do!_____________there are sometimes when you're so shy or embarrassed to admit your feelings.THIS is that 'sometime'.and I wish I didn't have to go through this sometime,but I'm overburdened with LUCK.

My intuition*another one of those ideas about myself*is strangely strong.I truly believe it is.but when it points at some random thing which in the end does not happen,my intuition gets this huge blow.it's like the ego getting hurt.only, in my case my intuition gets hurt.So yea.

then I happily mix my intuition with some dumb.muddled up feelings of mine.and the concoction is known as "negative confusion" .It negates every bit of hope and pure happiness attached to something making me distrust others.The blame's on me.I do it invariably.whenever my intuition fucks up.

So THAT is how I end up getting to this static-o!positively the greatest mood fucker.I don't know if I feel forgotten or cheated,at this point.I know that I'm still not in a hurry.I was but not now.even if I wander,I do come back.just that I don't find anyone waiting.

I lost my glasses

In a severe attempt to make myself realise that no one cares,I took a nice lil' walk*literal* down the memory lane.Everything seems so hazy now that I can't remember or at least can't believe half of the things that we did in the past.moments are so funny,you think you've got them captured and shit but what do you know,they just pass.with time they do.except some maybe.

holding your past too tight leaves you wondering if you'll ever let things go.and from what it looks like you'd say you won't.but change is so amusing,it lets you brood,sit and regret stuff and within a flash everything's just...not there.I don't know how good or bad that is.Right now,I think things will never be ok.that they'll never change but I'm sure when they actually do I'll never be prepared for it.this is how it's going to work I think.

You'll never know what hit you.

ill and fancied.

a few clicks,a few miles away.a ring.you let out some temporary laughs at your lesbian partner trying to set you up/you'll ideally feel ditched but this "pretty,bong girl" feels differently...always.
She traces truths and lies like she wasn't blind.But still falls flat,everytime.
she breathes some air and hides.hoping to find shoe laces** when she writes,
but A faceless being is watching,the noise it makes is annoying.
She runs to save her life but she's caught,damn her eyesight!!

**if you're reading you'll know

a smoker to you.not me.

smoke blowing is fancy activity.many would say its a nearly successful attempt at trying to look 'cool'.I would say it's more of an attempt to look photogenic.smoke is photo friendly.so is a cigarette...or maybe it's just they way I perceive it.those who know will agree that Ilu can look awesome*even though his voice can't be captured*with a lone blow machine between his fingers.
cliche.it is.rather,my perception is.black and white.smoke.eyes.depth.arouses this curiosity about the subject.I like that...that sense of mystery that burns within the grey smoke.

RetRo iMpulsE::

sins are so free that it makes me want to buy them.
I'm sort of justifying my stand.I probably wouldn't have given up so easy but am sleepy.
vintage scenes.retro dreams.here I come.

Heel girl...HeeL

an attempt to say a hell lot of things.one of which is that am sorry*for you know what*