My fish won't breathe till death

this is probably to get me out of the hot and cold effects of being 'affected'.

trust me,there's not an ounce of it that I like of it.so much so for 'looking through' people!man,do I have wrong ideas about myself!the question, however,is whether I should actually have any idea of myself at all.I'd like to answer that in the affirmative.It doesn't harm me as much as being absolutely clueless.I'd like to think that I DO know stuff about myself.Its better than having others tell you what you're like.

Anyhow,am really,tremendously looking forward to some trip.dharmshala,hrishikesh any damn place would do!_____________there are sometimes when you're so shy or embarrassed to admit your feelings.THIS is that 'sometime'.and I wish I didn't have to go through this sometime,but I'm overburdened with LUCK.

My intuition*another one of those ideas about myself*is strangely strong.I truly believe it is.but when it points at some random thing which in the end does not happen,my intuition gets this huge blow.it's like the ego getting hurt.only, in my case my intuition gets hurt.So yea.

then I happily mix my intuition with some dumb.muddled up feelings of mine.and the concoction is known as "negative confusion" .It negates every bit of hope and pure happiness attached to something making me distrust others.The blame's on me.I do it invariably.whenever my intuition fucks up.

So THAT is how I end up getting to this static-o!positively the greatest mood fucker.I don't know if I feel forgotten or cheated,at this point.I know that I'm still not in a hurry.I was but not now.even if I wander,I do come back.just that I don't find anyone waiting.