cheers to you

some amount of uncertainty. some confusion. quite a bit of happiness and quite a bit of guilt. That is pretty much what surrounds me, my life. When you 'move on', a lot begins to change. For me, accepting the change was difficult but eventually I gave in. I realised I can't always have the best of both worlds. You gain some, you lose some. I did.
Let me be honest, I did lose some things I never wanted to give up on but at the same time I also gained. I found something I'll treasure and cherish all my life. A very important part of me. In the process, I discovered a different side to me. A side that some love and many detest. I must have changed.
Life has. My priorities have. The problem here, crops up when I start thinking. Thinking about people. Thinking about how I used to be.
I do not want to regret things. I have had enough of that. I want to be happy with what I am doing. Not just for the moment, but even in future. I do not want to be ashamed. I should be able to face people, be responsible for every action of mine. Right now, I'm not. I try and escape things that try to oppose my decisions, my actions. I am in a phase where all I can see is me. And I realise that. Right now I am selfish. And sooner or later it will hit me. What will follow is regret.
At the moment, I don't see a way out. I care, not like I don't but the reasons behind everything I do kind of take over me. I realise what I am doing, and it makes me happy. But when I begin thinking about what it does to others, it bothers me.
I hate regret. But more than that, I hate unhappiness.