There isn't much about disappointment that we don't know.It hurts and quite evidently.But sometimes deconstructing the feeling is harder than one would think, so while I was in the middle of feeling stupid and trying real hard to hold back some sensitive tear glands from leaking, I didn't even know if the disappointment I felt was real.
After a relatively easy and subjective entrance, the next step was the interview.My first one, at that.Banking solely on my passion for the subject and my luck*which by the way never works,as shall be proved,AGAIN*, I walked into the room.My interview, to cut a long story short, was good.It's nice to know what people think of your work, especially if they're appreciative!Basically, everything went smoothly and my morale was more than satisfied.But then happy endings aren't a fad anymore.
The catch, was a pretty obvious one.Assumptions always screw things up for me.A camera,I was told, is compulsory and it obviously has to be a SLR.So I'm provided with the specifications,which end up being something around 60,000.*ouch* -my tear glands-
This is when I feel stupid, by the way.
I know the whole deal about money not being the only thing in the world, but one can't do without it.The thought of asking my parents, who are ever-willing, to spend close to two lakhs, on a course which doesn't even guarantee me a job, is sort of unfair.It is, no matter how much people convince me against it.The guilt is way too much to handle.I can't depend on people for life, it's not done somehow.
I am in love with photography and probably if I had that kind of family money,I wouldn't think about it so much .But the fact is, I don't.And I feel, the right thing to do would be to postpone this to a few years later, where I can depend on myself.and support my passions on my own.
No comments:
Post a Comment