does love taste bitter?

there are so many things I don't know that it sort of puts me off.it lets me think.more.more than I should.I am not comfortable sharing.not at all.and it includes friends.I guess I'm pretty much of a loser and other people(read friends) having a life of their own doesn't go down to well with me.there are things I wish I knew.but I don't.I find out from people who are so not connected.then I wonder if I actually scare people off,making things uncomfortable for them(and me!!)

I don't know really know how to take it.and I feel sorry for pretending to know people really well.I don't.I can't.

and no matter how much I try I'll probably be equally clueless ten years down the line.I don't seem to know who's important and I can't find out.It's worse cause I fail to see things the way 'others' do.I'm pretty cold that way...but it doesn't mean I don't care.and I guess finally I see a reason to actually say it out aloud.but nobody seems to be listening.