care for some sob?

If you're dumb enough to want a lot of things happening in your life at the same time.then think again.might not really be a good idea.since am freshly experienced,I learnt.complications are like 'bad boys',you don't know why you want them but you do>>if anybody considers this analogy weird,join the gang!
In a way am happy that I can make light out of the whole deal considering it's a favorite hobby to make fun of things.But honestly,it doesn't feel that good.
Since death seems to be in fashion,I think it caught my fancy.I must have wished for something concerning the same>>yes am weird.you'll find out>>
to feel the vaccum,the loss,isn't very great y'know.I mean you do know but sometimes loss is so sudden that it doesn't give you anytime to feel the pain and maybe that's a plus point but it doesn't make it any better.
Thinking too much about death can do two things::
1.give you what is called Thanatophobia::fear of death(freshly looked on google)
2.Or prepare you for it.or let me say get you used to the idea.
I think my case is included in the second one.hence, I'd like to think I'm emotionally stronger(than whoever).I don't know but, I feel bad about being this way.
I want to cry some more and let it out of me but it just doesn't happen and it's kinda hopeless.
I've seen way too many deaths this year and I'd want this one to be the last that I have to face.

thank you for coming back and letting us know,
that you'll be out cause it's time for you to go.
I won't hold you and I won't even cry
as I see you leave, say your final goodbye.