Tuesday, November 10, 2009

the original message

-----The fascination, the sheer obsession, with strangers seems to catch up with me every now and then-----Anyhow, that is really not of much relevance and if it is then it involves too much of explanation which I'm probably not willing to give.
Of late, things have been irksome, disturbingly gloomy.And a lot more.When my friend mentioned that I was probably looking for some latent form of solace on the internet, I, very obviously, denied it.But then I'm urged to look deeper into the hours I spend on the net (not too many though) and guess what I find? My virtual dependence. A state of mind, thoughts in motion, activity.My brain has a happy time.Or so I think.Maybe it becomes dead, or slow.Or dead slow-----
The realisation of virtual dependence isn't something new.It was always at a sub conscious level.Till now.
I can explain my emotion in terms of the emotions of the lonely cow *the one you would adopt,usually* one finds on Farmville, when I was, all of a sudden, deprived of my daily source of the feeling of inspiration, creativity, in some ways happiness, a little bit of friendship.Explaining it isn't as easy as I presumed----And just when I was getting comfy, -there, it went away.Bizarre.Things, people, time.Everything.So the gist is, that I can never rest and be all complacent with what I think I have.I've always got to be running, running after new things, befriending new people *who cares if I'm not interested*, always be ready for something new.hop.jump.skip.and off to something new.
Wow!the constant enthusiasm is so much fun.It's almost killing me.
______________________
So here I am.Emptying out the contents of my brain.Living with terminal virtual dependency---and not regretting it.Looking for strangers, to sub consciously stimulate my brain.Dealing with some changes I'm not comfortable with, some PMS bouts, some non hormonal mood swings *which occur more often*
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And thanks to Sonnet, The holocaust research, Maus and my pseudo intellectuality.

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