the great attention saga

of late I've felt a little more important than usual.can't disclose why cause that'll sort of shatter my ever pretentious image.was wondering how important attention is,I mean I know it is but what can you do to get it?If I wasn't scared of being judged, I would've done a lot but I'm too scared about what people'll say.Also,I realised, I don't give much attention either.and when I do,I end up feeling desperate.oh and not to forget that people take turns to walk over me and I happily stare at them pretending i don't care.

It's nice to have someone showering you with attention but the kind of person I am,I'm not happy with anything.one minute I like all the attention and the other I absolutely hate it.and this phase, all this importance...everything,I'm so afraid to lose it.I don't want to get out of it.I hate retrospect.cause it makes me realise that am a sucker for attention,that maybe I'm dependent on others for my own happiness,that as a person I'm...well,I guess I'm weak.but then I'm not good at changing either.